Reasons why the Warrior sucksEdit

——Fighter after taking one to many hits to the head due to lack of a helmet.
"Remember kids, always wear your bike helmets, unless you want to end up in a special hospital like him"
—Red Mage doing a PSA
  1. He only cares for what HE thinks is right. Eventually, he'll unexpectedly defect to the dark side.
  2. His white magic sucks!
  3. Thieves do more damage then him
  4. Is he blind? Seriously, look at his Dissidia pic and any cutscenes that show his face in YouTube that hasn't been deleted.
  5. His upgraded class has a tiara.
  6. Speaking of, Saint Seiya called they want that tiara back.
  7. His accuracy sucks.
  8. Sword-chucks, yo!
  9. Having the intelligence of a small walnut does NOT count as a superpower.
  10. He'll never understand what other people thinks.
  11. That isn't really his personality.

Reasons why Black Mage sucksEdit

—Black Mage
—Random Enemy
"*reaction censored*"
—Black Mage
—some particular Black Mage
  1. He's always the target from enemies.
  2. Always dies.
  3. Once he runs out of MP, he's useless.
  4. The universe is out to hurt him.
  5. He's a back stabber (literally).
  6. Donald Duck is a Black Mage.
  7. The Black Mage outfit has been done before.
  8. He utters the loudest, longest and most epic profanity ever emitted by any final fantasy character.
  9. He plays basketball (not a bad thing) ON A MARIO GAME!!
  10. He's not a hero, he's a villain. Simple as.
  11. He killed White Mage!
  12. Okay, she got better, but its still the thought which counts.
  13. His guide is wrong. 4 White Mages WORKED.
  14. That isn't even his personality.

Reasons why Red Mage sucksEdit

  1. Can't use Holy or Flare.
  2. Versatile, yes. Good, not so much.
  3. A mastery of animal husbandry is NOT a talent. It's just weird.
  4. He shoves people in his A-Hole without any warning, bags of holding and such where not meant to be used for such things.
  5. Black and White DO NOT make Red.
  6. The costume looks like what an archer would wear.
  7. Blue Mage ShadowFlare -> No flare.
  8. He wears a pimp hat when clearly he/she/it is not a pimp
  9. Has daddy issues that do not exist.
  10. He doesn't even behave this way.

Reasons why White Mage sucksEdit

  1. Though useful in most games, healing is boring by nature.
  2. They are He/she/it things.
  3. She failed to save Black Belt.
  4. The only useful spells they cast are cure spells
  5. The fact that White Mages can be male makes manlier men look gay.
  6. You're using the 8-bit theater personalities again.

Reasons why Thief sucksEdit

  1. Doesn't know how to steal until FF3.
  2. The Warrior easily outclasses the Thief.
  3. As useful as having a KO'd character in battle. Seriously, even Black Mage is better than him.
  4. Thiefs don't make good ninjas
  5. Royally screwed himself over.
  6. Cannot steal thing that are nailed down/on fire.
  7. Didn't know how to escape in FFV.
  8. His main stat, Luck, is completly useless in game.
  9. Doesn't exist in FFXIV.

Reasons why Black Belt sucksEdit

  1. Can't do magic.
  2. He probably does things that we don't want to know about with his weapons.
  3. Can't do magic.
  4. His sense of direction is so bad he broke the space-time continuum.
  5. Can't do magic.
  6. Is worse armed than unarmed.
  7. The party will be stronger if we have 2 warriors instead of 1 war and 1 black belt so this job is pointless and useless.

Reasons why Firion sucksEdit

  1. He has so many weapons and can't use a gun.
  2. The Blood Sword is weak.
  3. Every other main character can use some sort of utterly devastating spell somehow, all he gets is the first Ultima spell, which bites a serious degree of ass.
  4. He thinks he's Link, carrying all those weapons on him. But even he can't top Link.
  5. His friends can do just as good as he does.
  6. He got pwned by both Cloud and Sephiroth in Dissidia.
  7. Scatch that he got pwned by EVERYONE in Dissidia.
  8. He looks a bit like Bandit Keith in Yu-gi-oh
  9. He Asks a lot
  10. He manages to be even more emo than Cloud by actually cutting himself in mid-battle
  11. His game sucks, no matter how many versions they tried to improve it.
  12. He tries to be Link and fails.
  13. He's quite stupid in game and in dissidia...
  14. The Emperor found out his weakness was women.
  15. He cheated on Maria with Lightning.

Reasons why Onion Knight sucksEdit

  1. So...cute?
  2. The name's Onion Knight...seriously?
  3. His voice clips when attacking in Dissidia are retardedly silly. "Ohhh yeeeah!"
  4. Who in their right minds will send a child into battle?
  5. What is wrong with his hair in Dissidia?
  6. For Dissida, he put superglue on hair and headbutted a bowl of Skittles.
  7. If he encounters a fire enemy, he turns into a pile of funyuns
  8. Has no backstory.
  9. He thinks he can get grown up girls.
  10. He sounds like Sora. Honestly people.
  11. He sobs after being defeated in a battle in Dissidia.
  12. His Crystalized Manikin in Dissidia has the most annoying voice of them all
  13. The Dark Warriors are infinitely better.
  14. He thinks that Terra will go out with him.
  15. He got replaced by Luneth.

Reasons why Luneth sucksEdit

  1. He fell down a hole that can easily be avoided.
  2. His in-game model looks like a girl. All of his job classes do too.
  3. His unique armor is the weakest armor.
  4. Bad attempt for a backstory.
  5. He can't see a huge hole in the ground
  6. Why is his facial expression so apathetic in all the art of his job classes?
  7. He didn't even exist in the original game
  8. Did I mention he fell down a large hole?

Reasons why Cecil sucksEdit

"Okay, I just have to ask...Mom, how the HELL did I get conceived?"
"Well...let's see, I think I have some puppets for that...You see when a Mommy and a...."
—Cecil's Mom
"Oh GOD NO! I mean HOW is it possible? The sheer mechanics of it are mindboggling, Dad's a god-damn ALIEN! You two should not be able to reproduce! I mean...Oh bugger, I just went crosseyed"
—Cecil channeling Austin Powers
  1. Cecil FF4DS CG Art
  2. This job pays more.
  3. The First of many bishounen, troubled, and emotional boytoys in the franchise.
  4. He doesn't keep his Dark Knight weapons after the class change and doesn't produce a clone.
  5. He totes the power of darkness, and spends half the game bitching about it, real nice.
  6. His most memorable aspect is...Changing "Jobs". You can do that in real life.
  7. Unless you are in America.
  8. He became stronger by taking off a Helm and putting on purple lip gloss.
  9. Actually, he turned into a level 1 schmuck after changing his job.
  10. Is voiced by Yuri Lowenthal, and while he doesn't suck, he does voices of emos; ie Haseo, Alucard, Sasuke, Derek Stiles. Which makes him sound ANNOYING.
  11. He shares a voice with Ben Ten. Seriously.
  12. Can't use Haste.
  13. He gave up the strongest power in the game for white magic
  14. The stale ass Half-Breed angle was tired well before Terra, but no one seems to notice in Cecil's case.
  15. His father is an alien who abandoned him got killed by rioting humans for some reason.
  16. He caused the death of his mother when he was born, and was abandoned by his brother.
  17. Cecil x Kain will never be better than Sephiroth x *insert random male FFVII character here*
  18. He tells the Black Mage and the White Mage of the group to fucking stay in the kitchen. Let's points the many flaws to this:
  19. A: It's going to be pretty much a sausage fest. B: It's the White Mage's job to, uh I don't know... KEEP THEM ALIVE! C: Why in the HELL would you count on #Edge to do anything more than eat dirt most of the time? D: You're going to be kicking yourself in the ass when you realize that MOST of the enemies in the Lunar Subterrane are vulnerable to Stop. Soul Nomad and the World Eaters.
  20. He reads the magazine Lustfull Lali-Ho
  21. That makes him a pervert....
  22. He is selfish.
  23. He IGNORES his son and best friend!!!!
  24. Kain is more of a father to Ceodore than he is!!
  25. He played match-maker with Firion and Lightning and failed.

Reasons why Kain Highwind sucks Edit

  1. Because. Just because.
  2. People thinks he's so awesome but he's a confused man who betrays people, he can't get a girl, and he is a pawn. What's so badass about that?
  3. Abel's Lance? It's ridiculous.
  4. We all know jump is an excuse to stay out of harms way!
  5. He didn't do anything. All he did was be introduced, leave, show up again leave again and show up at the end.
  6. His spear looks like a fork
  7. His Holy Dragoon drawing.
  8. FACT: Kain Highwind's Holy Dragoon drawing makes him look gay. Even moreso than the girly Paladin Cecil drawing.
  9. I dare you to click to Kain's page and look at that drawing.
  10. Brainwashing is the worst cop-out outside of "It was just a dream!" endings. - Lost Hero
  11. Kain highwind facts suck big time.
  12. He can use White Magic. Seriously, Cecil can use White Magic, Leonora can use White Magic, Fusoya can use White Magic, Izayoi, Edge, and Tsukinowa can use psudo-White Magic, Porom and Rosa are the best at White Magic. Even Ceodore can use White Magic. We don't need more! Especially from Kain! Next thing we'll know, Cid might use White Magic and we don't want THAT!
  13. He's the first emo of the series!
  14. Kain x Cecil will never be better than Sephiroth x *insert random male FFVII character here*
  15. Because his Dissidia 012 character model is creepy. Nobodys chest moves like that when they breathe!
  16. Pink is not a "dark" color for a guy. Therefore, his dark Kain model is terrible too.
  17. He was far cooler than the main protagonist.
  18. He's a freaking 1-upper!!!!

Reasons why Rydia sucksEdit

  1. Whore.
  2. Final fantasy IV.
  3. Her DS artwork. Specifically her icon.
  4. She doesn't learn anything useful until the games halfway point.
  5. Eiko didn't need to go through "Year Inside-Day Outside" program to be a good summoner.
  6. Or Mage.
  7. Green lipstick...

Reasons why Tellah sucksEdit

  1. Old men should be more advanced in magics, Tellah getting worse when he gets older.
  2. Elder of Mysidia is old but still is a great mage... so why does Tellah sucks so much?
  3. He has 90 max MP.
  4. He learned all the magics later in the game but has limited MP to use them.
  5. He drinks Ethers instead of water.
  6. He's the legendary sage in the story but in fact he sucks.
  7. He dies like a dog and not as cool as Galuf.
  8. He has a spoony bard as his son-in-law and that spoony bard is waaaay worse and useless than him.
  9. In FFIV, every playable characters will die and reappear to say "hi guys!" in 2-3 scenes later, no one actually die in this game..... except Tellah.
  10. No one asks on the internet about how to revive Tellah. Actually people don't care if he's dead or alive.
  11. No one finds a cheat code to add him back to the party either.

Reasons why Ceodore sucksEdit

  1. Stupid Name
  2. Because unlike his dad, Ceodore is a sissy.
  3. His ability Awaken increases his stats, yet they're still terrible afterwards
  4. His hair is magically blue. Seriously, wtf.
  5. Weaker version of his own dad, who is playable in his game.
  6. Has two living parents. You can't be a good character if you don't have a sad and tragic backstory.
  7. He could boned Ursula in subterrane B3 but he fails.
  8. He is plot irrelevant and everything would still be the same if Cecil or Kain were the main characters.
  9. He's a White Mage, while not necessarly a bad thing, it means he always dying when you need him the most.
  10. Kain x Ceodore might technically be considered pedophilia even thought it's more logical than Cecil x Kain.
  11. Being related to Cecil makes you ten times worse then you already are.

Reasons why Izayoi sucksEdit

  1. What the hell is wrong with her feet there!?
  2. She is the worst character in the game, even worse than Edward and maybe Harley.
  3. Her skill "Illusions" can confuse enemies. Whoop-dee-doo, as if we couldn't already do that with magic!
  4. Her Ninjutsu focuses on healing people, but it will ultimately be worse than White Magic. How more trivial can she get?
  5. Her class is 'Kunoichi' but that is about the same as a Ninja, so what the heck is the point? (==: Kunoichi is a fancy way of saying "female ninja".
  6. Aside from Ultimate Art: Advent of the Phoenix, the Eblan Four, including Izayoi, is pointless in battle compared to the main FFIV characters.

Reasons why Bartz sucksEdit

  1. There is no innuendo.
  2. Because his Japanese name is Butz, and he comes from Lix.
  3. His name rhymes with "Farts". Hasn't anyone noticed?
  4. Because he is afraid of heights. End of story.
  5. He spawned someone who shows off her undies.
  6. His green shoes look like crap, especially in battle.
  7. A bunch of his job costumes look like other people.
  8. His hair resembles fighter's!
  9. Instead of learning to do things by himself he copies others
  10. He has three pretty ladies throwing themselves onto him (all royalty, btw) and he doesn't go after ANY of them (though going after Krile would be a bit creepy)
  11. He couldn't protect ANY of the crystals!
  12. He thoroughly enjoys poking defenseless turtles to see them retract in their shells.
  13. HE'S responsible for one Warrior of Dawn's death

Reasons why Faris sucksEdit

  1. She's a pirate and the only thing going for her is that silly pirate talk.
  2. She's terrible at pretending to be a guy
  3. She doesn't keep her hot dress (which is in 2D, by the way).
  4. She could've been more hotter than Rydia.
  5. The only reason pirates don't suck because of her is because Jack Sparrow came along.
  6. She's uglier as a blonde.
  7. Her hair is purple
  8. She became a pirate captain like Ash Ketchum obtained Gym badges i.e. luck and poppycock.
  9. Her best friend is a serpent.
  10. Her real name was mistaken as Salsa in a version

Reasons why Galuf sucksEdit

  1. That amnesia shit is overdone.
  2. Being old and using awesome unstoppable tranquil fury always results in kicking the bucket.
  3. He's an old pervert. Not that it has ever come up.
  4. He was killed off by Exdeath - A Tree. ((==: Why can't people learn? Exdeath's NOT a tree. He's a collection of evil souls-- The definition of Badass.))
  5. He was utterly useless for most of the First World adventure.
  6. He starts off with NO weapons.
  7. He let himself die in front of his Sissy Crybaby Granddaughter
  8. Have you seen his Dancer outfit? (OH GOD MY EYES!)

Reasons why Lenna sucksEdit

  1. A better question would be "Why Lenna doesn't suck?".
  2. Seriously, she only has, what, 3 weak excuses for reasons for why she doesn't suck.
  3. The only person who sucks more than her is her replacement from Legend of the Crystals.
  4. She's stupid. She practically suicided for a dragon and not remembered she did it afterwards.
  5. She eats weed. Dumbass you're supposed to smoke it er I uh mean...
  6. She values a dragons life more than her own... She almost DIED twice trying to save a stupid dragon! added by User:PictomancerWill

Reasons why Krile sucksEdit

  1. Can't fill in the huge and awesome shoes of the person she replaced. Not even close. That alone is more than enough ==Reasons.
  2. Because of her, girls like Relm and Selphie appeared.
  3. She has an unnattractive ponytail, like every other female character drawn by Amano
  4. Looks weak even as something fierce like a Berserker or Dragoon.
  5. She's underage.
  6. She acts stupid in game...much like Lenna...though Lenna was stupider...

Reasons Why Gilgamesh sucksEdit

  1. He's basically a weaker clone of General Grievous.
  2. Wishes he was 2/3 God.
  3. officially too many cameos without explanation.
  4. He is clearly a super soldier project gone horribly wrong, a la Deadpool
  5. Gets beaten everytime he has a cameo.
  6. He's a Bartz wanna be.
  7. Benkei wannabe.
  8. He's too cool.....what?
  9. During his EX Burst, his Excalipoor is more fun to use than his Excalibur
  10. Uses the same tricks to try and fool you when near death.
  11. Fuck this. Gilgamesh is too cool to be on this page.
  12. Looks different every game.
  13. Unfunny meme.
  14. Overrated by fans.

Reasons why Terra sucksEdit

  1. Some people seem to think the only thing good about her is her super-powerful half-breed biology...and they squeal like it's never been done.
  2. Its technically bestiality if you do her (unless you're already an half-Human, half-Esper, in which you're lucky.)
  3. And as such, You can beat the game without ever getting her back in the party.
  4. Her survival at the end was complete Deus Ex Posterior.then again...
  5. A pedophile saved her life.
  6. If someone had a dime for everytime she was insecure over something, they would be a millionaire.
  7. She spends nearly the whole game wanting love and when she finally gets it, it weakens her.
  8. She runs away a lot in Dissidia along with OK, and doesn't face Exdeath, the slowest character in the game.
  9. She takes orders from a child in Dissidia, and when she isn't she is taking orders from Kefka.
  10. She is always crying about something.

Reasons why Celes sucksEdit

  1. She's a poor man's Terra.
  2. Not the main protagonist.
  3. Leo's a much better General and character...he kicks more ass without Magic.
  4. Despite her claims to the contrary, she is in fact an opera floozy.
  5. See Faris #3.
  6. She let herself fall for a thief.
  7. She looks like someone from West side story according to some.
  8. Looks like a season Opera singer but can become a seasoned Opera singer in a pinch to match? Really? REALLY?!
  9. She's not the lead protagonist.
  10. She's both a General and some love-starved twit.
  11. She attempts suicide... and Failed!
  12. Her Runic also absorbs healing spells. Kinda counter productive, yes?
  13. Her Runic is useless except for one tutorial boss fight.
  14. She wears swimsuit with armor.
  15. Cid raped her for one year on that island.
  16. She pissed herself while trying to commit suicide.
  17. Blonde.
  18. Not that important to the story.
  19. Terra is way better than her.
  20. Did I mention she's not the main protagonist?
  21. Not in Dissidia (of course, she's not the main protagonist).
  22. Showing her ass in Tactics S.
  23. Celes fans hate on a little good girl like Terra, how evil they are?
  24. Celes fans can cry louder than any opera singer in the world.

Reasons why Edgar sucksEdit

  1. No one really likes him. And those that do are only in it for the Dragoon bonus.
  2. Didn't take lessons from Zelos Wilder (Tales of Symphonia) on picking up ladies.
  3. He is secretly Jason Voorhees.
  4. He probably tought Setzer how to more of a ladies' man in Kingdom Hearts II.
  5. Using those tools he uses can't be fit for a king.
  6. He hits on every girl in the game and they all think he's a loser.
  7. Except Relm. Which makes him a Pedophile. ==: He does actually hit on Relm. >_>
  8. He hits on a little girl
  9. He's the reason we have our 2 Bravely Default perverts.
  10. Ringabel was a much better womanizer than him.
  11. If Edgar killed Kefka at the beginning of FF6, he would have saved many lives.
  12. Well, if he did kill Kefka, we wouldn't have one of the greatest FF antagonists, so he fails either way.
  13. Edgar's kingdom invented the auto crossbow, drill, and bio blaster yet they still haven't invented the gun.
  14. If he did invent the gun, he'd fail at using it.

Reasons why Sabin sucksEdit

  1. The Blitzes are hard to master. And that's all he's good for.
  2. He may be Goku, but doesn't come close.
  3. Needs more Shoryuken
  4. A REAL hadoken has nothing to do with holy power. Period.
  5. He can suplex a train, but he can't suplex Kefka from moving the statues.
  6. A Hadoken? Seriously?
  7. More accurately, a Kamehameha? Seriously?
  8. His looks here ->, reminds me of a certain chicken-wuss.
  9. 234 lbs? LOL you're fat!!

Reasons why Setzer sucksEdit

  1. He's an X-Men's Gambit wannabe.
  2. And Gambit is way cooler and more powerful than him.
  3. He can't use swords.
  4. His special command sucks but not as much as Celes'.
  5. He doesn't know how to ask a woman to go out properly, despite having money and coolest vehicle in the world.
  6. He's just there... not important to the story except for being an owner of the airships.

Reasons Why Cloud sucksEdit

  1. He imitated Zack, and not even well.
  2. Tries (and fails at) being just like Guts.
  3. Failed to save his woman.
  4. Failed to be a SOLDIER.
  5. Failed to save the world several times, and still has yet to succeed completely several years after the game has finished!!!!
  6. He's too dependent on Sephiroth in order to be even mildly popular.
  7. He has every single mental issue known to man, and then some! Come on, lets count - amnesia, identity crises, existential crises, uncontrollable seizures, multiple personality disorder, geostigma, post traumatic stress and many more.
  8. His hair is stupid looking, and blond. See a trend?
  9. He had 2 girls who were pretty much begging for him. He let 1 die, and he completely ignores the other one.
  10. He at some point was able to go on a date with 3 girls. He went out with a big black man named Bubba Barret.
  11. He is insanely over-powered, and he still cant kill his arch-enemy.
  12. Firing an energy wave from a sword is a super special Limit for Cloud. For almost every "Tales" game protagonist it's like the first move they acquire.
  13. His sword is overcompensating for something, without a pair of balls.
  14. He uses a sword that 2 other guys use before him and someone else can use it better.
  15. His mind keep turning to pudding when ever he even touches mako, yet if Tifa or Zack do exactly the same, they don't even seem fazed. Heros don't need to be pushed around in wheelchairs.
  16. Still couldn't top Yugi in the contest of who gets the craziest hair.
  17. He was defeated by a girl who don't know what love is.
  18. Forever to be unfairly compared to a guy who originally had about 5 minutes of screen time, most of it was optional.
  19. He had to cut his hair so it would fit on screen for the remake
  20. Even AFTER he defeated Sephiroth in FF7, he then fought Sephiroth inside his own mind again at the ending, "won" that battle, and then spent every other game/movie he appeared in fighting Sephiroth AGAIN. You have a big sword. USE it!
  21. Cloud was born a bastard child in a hick town, was ignored by all the kids, never got half a look from the girl next door - Tifa, when he tried to go on a date with her she wound up getting injured and the whole town blamed him for it because they are hicks, decides to join SOLDIER but can't even do that, gets his town burned down (though they were hicks) and his mother killed, watches Tifa and best friend get almost freakin' ripped in two by Sephiroth, then is thrown into a horrifying experiment which makes his mind infected with the cells of an evil alien and gives him a split-personality disorder along with repeated seizures, then watches his new girlfriend get impaled, and then turns out to be under the control of his arch-nemesis... And yet he's a hero?! #Yeah, great reasoning.
  22. Somehow he is even more emo than Squall
  23. He's a whiny little emo punk who spend half of the game moping around, complaining about how he failed to save Aerith, or how someone got hurt, or some other insignificant BS. It's a friggin' war!! What did he expect to happen!? Plus he also took his best friend's identity, except for his name and his past (up until Nibelheim)! Not even Cloud wants to be Cloud!
  24. He killed Aerith. SERIOUSLY THIS IS NO JOKE! There is an entire video on youtube that can prove this beyond all doubt.[1]
  25. He has way too many doubts.
  26. "Secret summon RAGAHIMADADOODOODAA" (who would of thought it's real?)
  28. FFVII!!
  29. He doesn't change one bit throughout FFVII. That's even worse then SQUALL!
  30. Link can beat him!
  31. And he can't beat Link.
  32. Smosh has proven that Cloud would have a hard time picking up his sword.
  33. If Link just gave him the gold gauntlets he picked up in Ocarina of Time, he'd have no problem at all.
  34. He tried to set Squall and Lightning on a date and failed.
  35. Lightning decided to be Squall, not you.

Reasons why Aerith sucksEdit

  1. see #4 of "Reasons why Auron sucks".
  2. Over-rated Gary Stu.
  3. Virtually useless battle wise.
  4. Seriously, worse than a KO'ed character.
  5. Her Limit breaks can't deal damage, thus they are the worst in game.
  6. Her theme sucks big time.
  7. Promiscous slut.
  8. Cloud is prettier than her.
  9. Yuffie makes a better love intrest (yikes).
  10. She can't get a man.
  11. Her "Ancient powers" were a load of BS.
  12. Her name means "earthly". Where did i heard that before?
  13. She can't fight.
  14. She's dead when you need her most.
  15. Yet she still doesn't shut up.
  16. Fanboys are still bitching about the Aeris/Aerith thing. Why don't they just get a life.
  17. Is actually more of a whore than Tifa in the original FFVII. SERIOUSLY.
  18. American voice actress is awful, well except for KHI and CC but that's beside the point.
  19. All she can do in battle is heal, and she loses even that little advantage if you give her materia to Red XIII and let him master it.
  20. Useless airhead. Terra may also be an airhead, but at least Terra can kick ass when need be.
  21. There were other deaths in FFVII.
  22. Josef, Ricard, Doga, Aria, Tellah, Galuf, and Leo died a better death before her. What makes her so special?
  23. She's completely useless, no matter how you put it. She's an acceptable mage with too little MP, and her Physicals can barely hurt a single HP.
  24. Well at least she has an original theme tune... oh wait...
  25. She doesn't know how to jump.
  26. Can't fight a noob Shinra soldier.
  27. Selling flowers for 1 gil each. She must be poor.
  28. Trying to hire a bodyguard with her body, despite having no boobs, no ass, and zero sex appeal. who's gonna accept that offer? oh wait... Cloud.
  29. Her name doesn't end with "A" sound like the other FF main females, therefore she's not the most important female of FF7.

Reasons why Tifa sucksEdit

  1. She is just porn fodder
  2. Japanese sex doll
  3. Personality of a Twilight character.
  4. Old whore.
  5. Isn't as pretty as Cloud.
  6. Could have avoided a lot of drama in VII had she not sat there and went "What? Oh, ok."
  7. Was trained by a chump, compared to the likes of Yang and Duncan.
  8. Got beaten up by a silver haired momma's boy who was as gay as Sephiroth.
  9. The only reason she wins fights is because of her huge gazongas, Sephiroth and the white-haird pretty boys were able to resist due to their gayness.
  10. Then she got a boobjob (the bad kind) in Advent Children.
  11. They were also fake to begin with.
  12. She doesn't wear a bra under her outfit in Advent Children.The sluttiness just wont go away.
  13. In the original "time with cloud" scene in FF7, they both "spent some time" together in the Chocobo stable in the Highwind. Oh Tifa, you barnyard slut you...Cloud was the receiver and she had the strap-on.
  14. Having sex in the open area like we seen in the final product, is even sluttier.
  15. She really got into *sigh*...a slap fight. Instead of you know just punching Scarlett's lights out.
  16. Keeps chasing after a guy that would rather hang out with a dead girl than her.
  17. Suspenders and a skirt? She's just trying to figure out extra ways to yang up her skirt, isn't she?
  18. Nearly killed several times by at least two different white haired pretty boys, Just to be saved by a white haired pretty boy.
  19. She knows she's going to end up fighting giant mechanical war machines and still isn't smart enough to bring a weapon. Even Aeris brings a Stick to fight #with. "Yeah Tifa, punch the tank. That'll help."
  20. Her ultimate weapon sucks.

Reasons why Vincent sucksEdit

  1. Took him about 30 years to get of his ass to take action for the tragedies that happened in his life.
  2. He's even more emo the Cloud if you can believe it.
  3. He's the only FFVII character who has one Limit for each level
  4. He has the lowest overall stats out of all the characters in his game (Yes, even Cait sith and Arieth)
  5. Most people find him incredibly hard to unlock
  6. He was knocked out by Hojo. Hojo!
  7. If Vincent didn't lose to Hojo, he wouldn't get Lucrecia and we wouldn't have to deal with little Sephiroth.
  8. Guns always suck in the series, and he gets nothing but. He has a god-damn claw! Why cant you use that!
  9. Probably read a LOT of Twilight.
  10. Either he read alot of Twilight, or he was the inspiration to Twilight.
  11. Has about 10 minutes of backstory to him, which is still more than Cait Shit and Yuffie. Considering those two suck, that's not much of an achievement
  12. He's the most emo of the emo in all of emo world
  13. Is a less likable pansy compared to Yuri of Shadow Hearts.
  14. Ruined his coolness by going emo in Dirge of Cerberus.
  15. Woman ditches him for an old crazy dude, they make a baby, she experiments on her baby: Vincent not only blames himself but he still loves her. What is this I don't even.

Reasons why Red XIII sucksEdit

  1. Far too many to mention.
  2. Not a person.
  3. Yoshikata Amano artwork shows cloud riding him.
  4. His subplot would have been WAY too confusing AND too stupid.
  5. No one likes him.
  6. His strength is determined by a FEATHER on his head. Are you kidding me?
  7. his limit breaks are subpar
  8. He let Cait Sith ride on his back!
  9. He has the brain of a 10 year old human.
  10. He has a name but didn't introduce himself properly when he joins the party. That's rude and disrespect himself.

Reasons why Squall sucksEdit

  1. Using a weapon that doesn't even fire projectiles gives him more Accuracy than the Sharpshooter on his team.
  2. He a whiny emo!
  3. FFVIII (?)
  4. May be deaf or dumb or more likely both.
  5. He arrived after VII, and is constantly thought of as a poor man's Cloud.
  6. Worse than Cloud, by the way.
  7. Paine was made because of him
  8. His scar makes him look more emo
  9. He only has one aerial move in Dissidia and it's not even long-ranged (ehem..two to be exact,rough divide is long range)
  10. He's too emo.
  11. Look at his picture above. It looks like he's trying to fuck the gunblade
  12. He got that scar from Seifer. SEIFER!
  13. He overuses his belts
  14. He has the best finisher in the game, but he usually decides to use his shitty 1st level finisher
  15. Leather pants? Are you fucking kidding me?
  16. People think Cloud and that sucka with the impractically long Masamune are compensating for something. Take a look at Blasting Zone and ask who's really compensating for something.
  17. May be a closet homosexual or socially handicapped or more likely both.
  18. Has the worst backstory of any FF hero. "MY SIS LEFT ME ALONE!!! I MUST BE ALONE FOREVER BAWWWW QQ" (that was a little too much.)
  19. is friends with Zell which makes him suck five times more than he normally would have.
  20. his dialouge besides occasionally saying a word or five consists of "..." "Go talk to a wall" and "Whatever."
  21. When a whip-using hot blonde teacher threw herself at him, he told her to go talk to a wall and decided to go for the sweet innocent girl.
  22. His girlfriend is RINOA.
  23. Squall strangely is more Stupid once he believes in The Power of Friendship!
  24. We liked Leon better when he appeared in Final Fantasy II.
  25. His character was ruined in Kingdom Hearts, along with pretty much every other FF character that shows up there.
  26. Always complains that he doesn't want the responsibility of being the leader, yet always readily accepts being the leader. + You know you are worth nothing as a man when someone like Rinoa is the one who clearly wears the pants. He's a sucker who does everything she commands.
  27. He's the beginning of the series of emos in black made by Tetsuya Nomura.

Reasons why Rinoa sucksEdit

  1. She's too horny.
  2. She needs dicks 24/7.
  3. No bikini DLC even in 2013 re-release.
  4. She leads the worst terrorist group ever.
  5. Her terrorist group never planted a single bomb. what a disgrace?
  6. Who the hell names their dog "Sant'Angelo di Roma"? gotta be fucked up in the head.
  7. And Rome doesn't exist in FF8, how could her dog comes from Rome?
  8. WHINY!!!!

Reasons why Zidane sucksEdit

"There is only room for ONE thieving monkey-thing in popular culture!"
—Sun Wukong
"Oh come off it you old fart, times change!"
"Oh that does it! (Bashes Zidane with Ruyi Jingu Bang)"
—Sun Wukong
  1. He wields two knives and can't do two attacks.
  2. Reminds me of a certain gentleman thief
  3. Despite being a RPG main character, he's the least useful member of the party. (except stealing)
  4. He touches asses without given permission. PERVERT!
  5. His character and origins are eerily similar to Son Goku of DragonBall.
  6. And he's a Son Goku rip-off.
  7. Also is a poor man's Sun Wukong.
  8. If you pull on his tail, he loses all of his power.
  9. He turns into a pink furry.
  10. If he sees the moon he'll turn into a great ape
  11. For some reason a clumsy stubby mage and an adult wearing full armor AND carrying a teenage girl outran him.
  12. HE IS A MONKEY!!!
  13. His supersaiyan transformation fails to deliver
  14. Eventually his weakest trance attacks deal the same kind of power as his most powerful trance attacks. So whats the point?
  15. Monkeys don't use Daggers and swords, they use Blunt things to bludgeon with!
  16. He's a monkey, so he'll throw his pink glowing poo at you.
  17. A protagonist that choose to be a Thief and not a Warrior.
  18. His English voice actor SUCKS!
  19. He has this ... thing as a brother.
  20. When he's not chasing girls, he can be seen chasing his own tail on occasions.
  21. He occasionally scratches his butt, how can any girl stand that?
  22. He stinks.
  23. If he paid 100 gil for his haircut, he paid 99 too much.

Reasons why Garnet sucksEdit

  1. She's horny, but that fat queen removed it for her.
  2. She actually horny and ran away with thieves.
  3. She loves every second that Zidane grabs her ass.
  4. She names herself 'Dagger'.
  5. Her outfit is not sexy.
  6. She sings out of nowhere like those Disney characters.
  7. She cuts her hair short.
  8. Rydia is better than her.
  9. She's a poor girl's Yuna.
  10. Her boyfriend is a monkey.
  11. She's a whiny little princess.

Reasons why Steiner sucksEdit

  1. He's an ultra royalist.
  2. He's a conservative.
  3. He's a Republican supporter.
  4. His armor is rusted.
  5. He's fat.
  6. His ultimate weapon forced us to do speedrun.
  7. He acts like he's gonna marry Garnet, instead of just protecting her.
  8. Auron is trillion times better than him.
  9. Even Wakka and Snow laugh at his stupidity.
  10. Most stupid character of the series.
  11. FF9
  12. It took him 2 short hours of gameplay to realize he has feelings for Beatrix.
  13. He hits on someone younger than him.
  14. He's secretly not 33, he's really millions of years old.
  15. The Steiner in Bravely Default is much cooler than he is.
  16. Scott Steiner can kick his ass in 5 seconds.

Reasons Why Tidus sucksEdit

  1. He cries a lot.
  2. James Arnold Taylor, essentially why people hate Tidus in a nutshell.
  3. No-one knows how to pronounce his name.
  4. He never went explorin with wakka today
  5. He never told anyone about Sin being his daddy, but makes a lot of noises when finding out the other didn't tell him that Yuna will die after defeating Sin.
  6. His thoughts are annoying.
  7. He spends half the bloody game in front of a campfire narrating his life in Spira to people who WHERE THERE FOR IT! (Uh actually he was narrating for you, the audience... I always imagined in a book or a sphere or something.)
  8. Gets hand-me-down swords. The rest are just powerups.
  9. Three words: The "laughing scene".
  10. He walks as if he's captioned in slow-motion
  11. He was a moron before coming too close to Sin
  12. He returned in FFX-2, Kingdom Hearts and Dissidia.
  13. "You don't need to think!"
  14. He's a figment of the Fayths' imagination.
  15. Tidus is too emotional around Cloud and Squall.

Reasons why Yuna sucksEdit

  1. She changed her job into something actually even more useless than before.
  2. FF X-2
  3. No sane person could actually want to become a summoner, right?
  4. But to top this insanity... she even considers to become Seymours wife just to talk to him. Well, that's really creepy.
  5. It's fucking hard to level her, because she's so total useless in battle.
  6. Her FFX outfit let her look fat.
  7. A perfect example of Balthier #5.
  8. Gun Mage?
  9. Couldn't even say Tidus' name, it ain't hard. T.. a T..Teh..eye..dus
  10. According to the instruction booklet, she's supposed to be the main character, but she gave it up to
  11. She falls for
  12. Again, the laughing scene.
  13. Whereas most summoners have 1 or 2 guardians, she had 5 in the end.
  14. Seriously, how much more of a "Damsel in distress" can you possibly be? Oh yeah... Garnet
  15. Somehow, thanks to Yuna, Tidus wasn't the worst character in FF X-2.
  16. Wasn't so bad in X, but looked like a bitch in X-2.
  17. If she says "I'm sorry" one more time...!
  18. Ugh...she's too "nice" for Final Fantasy
  19. Underwater sex.... that's so slutty.

Reasons Why Auron sucksEdit

  1. He's a grumpy, irate and cryptic middle-aged man, and people think he's so awesome. Cyan's alot less aloof and appraochable and yet so many people think he's such a ass of a character.
  2. He drinks during his attacks. Do not slaughter fiends under the influence of alcohol. Haven't you seen the PSA's?
  3. Too overrated.
  4. He's dead for goodness sakes. Im sorry but thats never a good thing.
  5. Has anybody noticed that he shaves his armpits? Girly man!
  6. He's a little bit TOO awesome, OH NO AWESOME OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!

Reasons why Lulu sucksEdit

  1. She has a mole.
  2. Too many belts.
  3. Married to the brother of her late ex-boyfriend. eww...
  4. Useless after Yuna or anyone learned to use black magics.
  5. Her physical attack sucks and ridiculous.
  6. Her weapons suck too.
  7. And her overdrives SUCK!! what's this character can do anyway?
  8. She's the Datalog of FFX.
  9. Wakka calls her "Loo" and British people know how funny it is.
  10. She failed a pilgrimage.
  11. And her first summoner died.

Reasons why Wakka sucksEdit

  1. Wakka found out Rikku is an Al-Bhed
  2. You badmouthed Yevon and that's all you can come up with? Mika never lured children to his Granmaester-mobile, yah?
  3. RACIST!
  4. Big meanie.
  5. I don't know much about Spira or the Al Bhed but Rikku is fucking hot!! how can you hate her just because she's an Al Bhed?
  6. He's an ultra religious.
  7. Asking an atheist to disprove his religion's teachings instead of showing proofs to support his believe. typical religious behavior.
  8. His weapon looks like a beach ball.
  9. His blitzball team is the Liverpool of Spira.
  10. His hairstyle sucks.
  11. He has a Besaid accent but he's the only person on the island who has that accent. WTF?
  12. He has a chance to get Rikku but ended up with Lulu instead. what a moron.

Reasons why Paine sucksEdit

  1. Some RPGs have a whole casts without the obligatory stern, stoic sandbag. This is why X-2 is not an example of said RPGs.
  2. Have you checked her wrists lately?
  3. She probably has every STD known to man.
  4. Her name really isn't all that scary.
  5. She is a Terrible rip off of an alredy terrible character.
  6. FFX-2
  7. She's essentually a female Squall
  9. She-male 'nuff said
  10. She's not a woman.
  11. Lightning wannabe.
  12. The Crimson Squad sucks.
  13. Irrelevant to the storyline, why is she in Yuna and Rikku's team anyway?
  14. Forever alone.
  15. She doesn't know how to stand like normal people.
  16. Gothic wannabe.
  17. Emo.
  18. Paine.... seriously? It sounds like a nickname of some emo who tries to be cool but nobody thinks they're cool with a name like that.

Reasons why Nooj sucksEdit

  1. His name sucks.
  2. His outfit.
  3. His hair.
  4. His cane.
  5. His boots.
  6. He has a long zipper from his neck to his balls.
  7. He's a handicap.
  8. How can he dress/undress himself with that tight one piece outfit and he's handicapped? feel sorry for his wife.
  9. Oh wait... he doesn't have any wife.
  10. The only woman who love this goof is Leblanc.
  11. The Crimson Squad sucks.
  12. The Youth League sucks.
  13. All of his friends suck; Baralai, Gippal, and Paine. What a useless team.
  14. Nobody wants to cosplay as him, except for the lulz.

Reasons why Shantotto sucksEdit

  1. She's not playable.
  2. She's in Final Fantasy XI, nuff said.
  3. She got into Dissidia instead of Kain, Balthier, or even Gilgamesh! Grrr...
  4. Except Gilgamesh made it into Duodecim. But that was too late.
  5. She's like three feet tall, if Chaos steps on her, she's screwed.
  6. No one would date her due to craziness.
  7. She refuses to admit when someone is better than her.
  8. Her haughty laughter is annoying.
  9. Talks in rhyme. Seriously?
  10. She's short enough to drop kick if she gets overly annoying
  11. She never gives anyone better than a B-....
  12. She's a dwarf like with gayish make-up. Holla Nigga
  13. That top quote is blatantly stolen from Bleach
  14. SHE'S SCARY!!!!

Reasons why Vaan sucksEdit

  1. Is there actually a more annoying character? He starts off relevant to the story then just turns into a whiny little tag-along (although i suppose he was whiny in the first place). I mean, Tidus was a little queer boy but i think Vaan brings a new level to it. (he also has the best overall stats...)
  2. One of the only characters who is hated just because he's not very important.
  3. He's Michael Jackson with a bad haircut, and no singing or dancing.
  4. His stomach is disgusting
  5. Basch lives!
  6. Don't listen to Ondore's lies!
  7. He's Captain Basch!
  8. He's Captain Basch fon Rosenburg of Dalmasca!
  9. He was dumb enough to get his airship destroyed within the first 10 minutes of revenant wings.
  10. Seriously, what's wrong with wearing a shirt?
  11. Like Zidane #7. But to a greater degree and more hate.
  12. Basically Lenna #1, except replace Lenna with Vaan.
  13. His girlfriend.
  14. He named the Ultimate blade of the gods Anastasia. He could have named something like something badass like WingSlayer or SkyAvenger but he had to name it #Anastasia
  15. Most new partymembers instantly disliked Vaan. Most new gamers to FFXII disliked Vaan. Coincidence?
  16. Is in the same game with the person whose name sounds like the worst character in Pokemon. No one likes Vaan. No one likes Ash. Coincidence?
  17. He's not as cool as Jaster Rogue. Yes, he sucks more than a walking cliché.
  18. His voice manages to achieve a level of monotony not seen since Squall.
  19. He is a blatant rip-off of Aladdin. And not even a good one.
  20. He auditioned for the role of Aladdin, and ended up being Jasmine.
  21. He somehow looks and sounds better in Dissidia than in his own game.
  22. He doesn't have any connection to the main plot of the game. And his face is girly, with the pink cheeks and all.
  23. He puts his blush on make up before entering a Battle like a gay.
  24. Looks like Ellen Degeneres with fake abs.

Reasons why Basch sucksEdit

  1. His twin ruined his life and suddenly, he starts to look like him: armor, hair, everything.
  2. In addition to that, his twin stole his Quickenings (and appearence chances) in Dissidia, although they're a bit different.
  3. I know he's sorta a vagabond escapee, but the f*** is he wearing?
  4. He got shafted, thanks to fangirls...apparently.
  5. He's basically Vin Diesel with a wig.
  6. Was only important for the first and last bits of the game.
  7. Imagine how stink he was when he escapes from that cage. he probably pissed himself for years.

Reasons why Balthier sucksEdit

  1. He speaks with a dry english accent, has a viera sidekick, and is clearly a player. This adds up to but one thing, he is Austin Powers.
  2. NOT the leading man (but then again, who in FFXII was?).
  3. He and his bland sidekick couldn't even intimidate Vaan.
  4. The shoes he wears in XII can't be comfortable...
  5. Vincent #9 without the claw.
  6. Overrated, but the voice does not lie.
  7. He never even as much as touches Fran's butt. I hope that closet is comfortable enough for him.
  8. Talk about overcompensating for something. [look right]
  9. Has an annoying amount of annoying fangirls/boys. Reminds me of a certain dragoon.
  10. Vaan has better stats than him.
  11. Like all other playable characters, he has a weird running motion. Flail those arms much?
  12. Used to be a judge. So where's your badass armor?
  13. Doesn't look good with any other weapon except guns.
  14. Being a Sephiroth wannabe with his katana wielding style.
  15. Know-it-all.
  16. Tight pants. Trying to show something off?
  17. Beardless pirate, short hair pirate, LAME!
  18. He ran away from his daddy.
  19. He robbed Ashe's ring.

Reasons why Reddas sucksEdit

  1. Some men can do Pink...Reddas can't.
  2. He blew up an entire country, turning it into a wasteland YOU have to trudge through to get some rare swag.
  3. If he dual-wields, then that must mean single-handed battling is weak for him.

Reasons why Ashe sucksEdit

  1. Would have made some dumb decisions if not for a certain "Main" Character there to show her otherwise. Take that Haters!
  2. You KNOW at some point she is going to get overthrown for simply being too annoying.
  3. Sees dead people.
  4. She's a princess. Doesn't that just say everything?
  5. She slapped Basch in the face. How rude. So mean...
  6. All she is after is enough power to mess up the empire. Vengeance so not suits a lady.
  7. In order to leave Bhujerba she first tries to steal Balthier's airship then after this plan doesn't work out so well she make him kidnap her. How low can you possibly go?
  8. Garnet already did it. (see above)
  9. She never gets naked.
  10. You all know what her name sounds like.
  11. Her father's REAL last name was Ketchum.
  12. No matter how she runs or jumps or whatever her undies never get exposed. I mean, how did she do that?!
  13. She wears pant under her skirt instead of an underwear.
  14. Oh, so many ==Reasons: Future queen; dresses like a streetwalker. Pretends to be strong and independent; begs to be kidnapped. Creates the Resistance partly to avenge her recently dead husband; hopes to seduce Balthier (when that fails, she mentions how much she misses Baschy-Basch and wants him by her side, 1 year after slapping him hard across the face).
  15. She has a very huge ass but I'm not sure if that's a bad thing.
  16. Her name sounds like "Ass", Lady Ass!
  17. She lost her virginity as soon as the game start....
  18. Some players mistook her husband with Vaan's sissy brother in the beginning of the game.

Reasons why Larsa sucksEdit

  1. He's a stupid excuse for a drug dealer.
  2. He's a prince and he resorts to drug dealing?
  3. He looks, acts, and talks like a woman.
  4. IT'S A TRAP!!! (See above statement.)
  6. Healing aside, he's useless.
  7. Wait, WTF, She's NOT a Woman?
  8. He's Kuja No.2~!

Reasons why Lightning sucksEdit

  1. The template for her design is a "Female Cloud". C'mon!
  2. Even her name seems to remind you of Cloud. Very subtle.
  3. Her name also reminds you of a certain red car...
  4. Her real name is the same as a certain character from a certain anime character who is weak until she puts on lipstick, and then magically becomes super strong.
  5. Far too absorbed in her mission and WAY too obsessive over her sister. Besides, she suddenly goes from wanting to save cocoon, to ruining the government, to saving it, then ends up trashing Orphan and ruining the government. And just for the record, #7: I know what show you're talking about, and the lipstick is a mental inhibitor put into place by hypnotic suggestion. She did it so she would smash the GOTT headquarters and everywhere else she went by just walking around. And her name is CLAIRE, people. Not Éclair.
  6. Her creator obsessed with her "mai waifu"
  7. More like a man than women
  8. Her creator is so stupid
  9. Her hair...FFIV was released before FFXIII. She totally stole Porom's new hair!

Reasons why Serah sucksEdit

  1. She's unplayable in XIII-1.
  2. When she gets her own game she dies.
  3. She wears an undershort in XIII-2 Grrrrr.
  4. She cheated on Snow with Noel.
  5. Used to be Snow's fience... eww.
  6. She's a jailbait.
  7. She stole my heart. :D
  8. She's too cute.
  9. I love her.
  10. My girlfriend jealous of her because I said I like her.
  11. My girlfriend refused to cosplay as her.
  12. she's not main character
  13. she's lightning sister ^_^;
  14. My friend Sarah brags that their names are the same, makes me wanna be named Sarah!!! (BTW my friend looks and acts NOTHING like her!!!)

Reasons why Noel sucksEdit

  1. It's Nol, not No-el.
  2. But he's No-el in the Japanese version. WTF?
  3. His pant...
  4. He looks like Justin Bieber.
  5. He banged both Yeul and Serah, which make him an ultimate pedophile.
  6. He's one of the pretty boys fall from the sky, the same old shit cliche.
  7. He has a girlfriend that will die at 15 then reincarnate as a 12 year old. PEDOPHILE!!
  8. He's ridiculously weak as a boss in LRXIII.
  9. He fought his best friend over a 13 year old girl.
  10. This pedophile is now living in our world, somewhere in France.

Reasons why Sazh sucksEdit

  1. His wife dumped him.
  2. He has a chicken in his hair.
  3. His favorite restaurant is KFC.
  4. He's unemployed and spending his life in a casino.
  5. His son has the afro haircut.
  6. He hugged Lightning and got punched for it.
  7. He peaked under Vanille's skirt.
  8. He failed to commit suicide.
  9. He tried to murder Vanille.
  10. He brings his son to watch the fal'cie.
  11. He brings his son with him while driving a war machine in XIII-2.
  12. He stole a lot of aircrafts during XIII storyline.
  13. He acts like he is a great pilot (Cid wannabe) but everytimes he flies something it never ended well.
  14. He stole my bike.
  15. He stole your bike.
  16. He wearing the same clothes in 3 games, more than 500 years.
  17. He's not taking shower.
  18. He's a racist character, people. Black guy with afro, chicken, guns weapon, racing car eidolon, and has a son that doesn't go to school.
  19. He auditioned for the role of Mr. Mosbey on the Suit Life of Zack and Cody and failed.

Reasons why Vanille SucksEdit

  1. Disturbing Eidolon summon scene.
  2. Is basically one of those extremely sexual characters.
  3. Annoying personality.
  4. All the stupid noises she makes in battle.
  5. Possesses a voice and mannerism that Yuffie, Selphie, Eiko and Rikku would cringe to.
  6. Airhead.
  7. Lies about EVERYTHING.
  8. Angsts about stuff that isn't even her fault.
  9. Because of her, Fang is so one-dimensional and shallow.
  10. Let's see: Coward? Check. Lies to her best friend? Check. Encourages Hope to blame Snow for the death of his mother, even though it wasn't his fault at all? Check. Lies again? Check. More lies? Check. Suicidal? Double Check! Has the nerve to lie for a fourth time? Yup, check. Goes for suicide one more time and succeeds, becoming some sort of hero? Check. Let's not forget that she's a failed attempt at fanservice and has an incredibly annoying Australian accent in the English dub. Did I forget anything?

Reasons why Snow sucksEdit

  1. He's a jock.
  2. Hope's mom died because of him.
  3. Many people died because of him.
  4. He delivered Serah to the fal'cie.
  5. He's a pedophile.
  6. He has no brain.
  7. He wannabe a hero and he's not.
  8. He's the leader of the worst terrorist group ever.
  9. He failed to save people, failed being a hero.
  10. He tried to save Serah by digging her out of the crystal stasis.
  11. Lightning punched him twice.
  12. Sleeping on the bed of other people without taking shoes off.
  13. Serah cheated on him with Noel.
  14. Becomes an emo in XIII-3.
  15. Still doesn't have a new girlfriend after 500 years.
  16. Therefore no sex for 500 years. LOL
  17. He's a 500 year old virgin. LMFAO. ==: You know your a bad character when Edward Cullen manages to lose his virginity in less time than you.
  18. He's Snow.SNOW!!!
  19. Stupid name!(like many other characters I might add!)
  20. He laughed insanely when he killed Hope's mother.
  21. Snow wants to marry Billy Mays.
  22. He auditioned for the role of Kristof in Frozen.

Reasons why Dragoons (FFXIV) suckEdit

  1. It's the weakest job in the game.
  2. Spoony Bards do more damage than them.
  3. Even some White Mage can do more damage than them.
  4. They're a Kain wannabe (Kain sucks as well).
  5. They die a lot.
  6. Have a cool-looking armor, but have no defense compare to Paladins and Warriors.
  7. They need heals from healers too often, despite not tanking.
  8. They'll hold their party back.
  9. People will celebrate if they entered a dungeon with random party members and no Dragoon(s) shown up in the team.
  10. They suck too much so SE had to buff them in many patch updates, but still suck.
  11. Dragoon gears drop a lot in dungeons, even though nobody plays this job.
  12. They have lower HP than some White Mage.
  13. Many Dragoon players chose to play it because it looks cool.
  14. The 16-bit Titan Extreme Mode trailer.

Reasons why Summoners (FFXIV) suckEdit

  1. They have the worst-looking summons in the entire series, the Egis.
  2. They use books as their weapons. NERDS!!
  3. Their Shadow Flare do 50 damage per second...
  4. They're nothing close to the other summoners of the series, except for their artifact equipment that look like FFT summoners.
  5. They can't summon the real Primals.

Reasons why Noctis sucksEdit

  1. The worst there is, the worst there was, the worst there ever will be.
  2. He's not a man.
  3. He's a pretty boy in Nomura's dream.
  4. He only has male friends.
  5. He has no girlfriend.
  6. He has 4 boytoys.
  7. Stella is not his girlfriend.
  8. He's the first homosexual lead protagonist (Balthier doesn't count since he's not a leading man).
  9. He's an emo.
  10. His sword is lame.
  11. His game will suck.
  12. His game is not an RPG game.
  13. His game is a vapoware.
  14. Lightning is more popular than him.
  15. FF fans want Lightning Returns more than his game.
  16. He ate carbuncle piss with his father.
  17. He's a Dante wannabe (DmC Dante, not the real Dante).
  18. and Sasuke wannabe.
  19. He stole the teleport ability from Ace.
  20. He dresses like Kingdom Hearts characters.
  21. His brother in the other universe, Sora, sucks as well.
  22. He's the Vaan of FF XV...
  23. His hairstyle that he stole from Vaan and Sasuke, sucks.
  24. Could have defeated the final boss of his game by now. Hasn't yet. What has he been up to? Sitting on his throne, being lazy?
  25. Developers are probably more obsessed by him then they were by Cloud, or Lightning.

Reasons why Ramza sucksEdit

  1. To put it bluntly, he's a sucka. Plain and simple.
  2. He doesn't have an exact birth date.
  3. His final sprite looks rediculous.
  4. He's Lawful Stupid.
  5. He has clearly been castrated at some point in his life.
  6. Another example of Larsa #3, just with even less excuse.
  7. The Church hates him. Not without good reason, but still...
  8. Wait a sec... that's a man...?
  9. He committed incest with his sister.
  10. He and his sister pretended to be dead in order to fade away from the world and commit incest peacefully.
  11. If you change his name, in the cutscene the charater talk to someone that not exist
  12. Denam from Tactics Ogre is way cooler than him.

Reasons why Alma sucksEdit

  1. She committed incest with his brother.
  2. Not permanently playable.
  3. She dresses like a nun.
  4. Her default job is actually a nun.

Reasons why Delita sucksEdit

  1. Biggest backstabber in Final Fantasy history.
  2. Kain calls him "master".
  3. He's not really a hero, just a pathetic guest character that keeps dying.
  4. You don't want to have a friend like him.
  5. He's a LOWBORN LOL he and his lowborn sister.
  6. His sister is being bullied at school.
  7. His dad was a stableman in House Beoulve.
  8. Argath said the truth and he can't accept the truth.
  9. He's the one that classist the most. He doesn't trust his best friend just because his friend is a Beoulve. CLASSISM!!
  10. He killed Ovelia instead of making her his wife. what a waste.
  11. He claimed all the credits for ending the war from his late best friend.

Reasons why Marche sucksEdit

  1. Because he ruined the world everyone fantasize.
  2. He could've ruled the world, but he chose not to.
  3. He was thought to be a girl by many people.
  4. He follows a stupid Law System when he fights.
  5. He's a noob.
  6. Considering the fact that he went against his friends and destroyed the world that made them better off, he's technically more of a bad guy.
  7. He tricked you into thinking he's the good guy.

Reasons why Montblanc sucksEdit

  1. He wouldn't even fight something he wants revenge for. (It could've have been worse if the crew Made Yiazmat not immune to any elements)
  2. LOW STATS No wonder people would rather kill him at the Jagd.
  3. He couldn't ride on Chocobos.
  4. He bosses people around instead of trying to fight himself (at FFXII).
  5. He makes fangirls emit that annoying "Squee" sound.
  6. The fact that Montblanc could sometimes be a dumbshit seems to be a few propellers short of an airship.

Reasons why Ezel sucksEdit

  1. The only things he's good for are cheap cards and that sleeping move.
  2. Alchemy does not work in real life.
  3. He probably watches Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.
  4. In FFTA2, he had to have someone get an item for him!!
  5. He's pretty much the Urahara of Ivalice with a different pimp hat.
  6. Eeyore's older brother.

Reasons why Luso sucksEdit

  1. LOL I have Sora hair!
  2. Why would a mushroom be a hero?
  3. He appeared in a game before his main game appearence.
  4. He looks like Portugal threw up on him (the fuck? -.-)
  5. He follows a stupid Law System when he fights.
  6. He somewhat slower than any average unit.
  7. His game's story is a BAD copy of "the Neverending Story". The Neverending Story was already bad. Imagine the game's story.
  8. His game needs a copy of FFXII's Judges in order to look somewhat good.
  9. He makes Sora seem badass.

Reasons why Class Zero sucksEdit

  1. It takes 12 of them to defeat a final boss that could have been defeated with fewer people if other characters from different Final Fantasy Games had been fighting that boss instead.
  2. And they needed assistance from two other people (who were dead at the time) in order to do so.
  3. And who on earth decides to fight an empire with playing cards? Or a flute for that matter?
  4. A class of Mary Sues and Gary Stus.

Reasons Why Kaze sucksEdit

  1. His regular gun never works.
  2. His Magun needs the useless characters in order to work.
  3. His English voice pisses the fans off.
  4. It moved!

Reasons Why Kumo sucksEdit

  1. Albino Clouds won't do any good.
  2. If he kisses you, you're dead.

Reasons why Lisa sucksEdit

  1. The reason she's here is for the backup that Kaze doesn't really need.
  2. "Pacifist" is the worst surname ever.

Reasons why Benjamin sucksEdit

  1. He's in the wrong game. If MQ was better, he might have a chance.
  2. He's the "Dan Hibiki" of Final Fantasy.
  3. Instead of showing emotional depth like other FF characters, he just shrugs whenever the story gets complicated (well, complicated for Mystic Quest, anyway).

Reasons why Sora sucksEdit

  1. His story is overused.
  2. His weapon is an oversized lock opener that isn't sharp enough to qualify as a sword.
  3. Not a Final Fantasy character.
  4. His origins lie in a chance meeting of two execs on an elevator.
  5. Basically Larsa #3 with bigger pants...and shoes.
  6. He spawned someone better than him.
  7. He spawned someone who would eventually rearrange his memories.
  8. He accidently spawned his childish fantasies with Kairi given human form.
  9. Reason 6 is somehow in love with reason 7 and in some way, reason 8.
  10. His game is WAY too confusing.
  11. To become whole again, he needs to absorb a dual wielding pimp.
  12. His nobody fights better than him.
  13. He was a hell of a lot cooler when his name was Sion Barzahd.
  14. Fanboys think him a good candidate for a future Dissidia title. In case you're thick, he's not.
  15. There's nothing lamer than being a character created by Tetsuya Nomura with Disney elements.

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