Elice_Carol was an unlucky woman with nothing better to do. The Lightning Returns board, a place born of Toriyama's madness, belonged to her. She held no love for it, but swore to protect it against Noerah shippers and other delusional fockwits. Having lost her bitter fight against the Lightning Union, a male-dominated group devoted to doing nothing but talking about how nice Lightning's tits are, her right to ownership of the board was revoked and was made into a member of the Union as a method of silence.
Elice knew that this would inevitably lead to the board's self-destruction, as there's never any fun in a circlejerk that you won't join. Betrayed by just about everyone she believed to be her ally, She wrote a log of the events that transpired on the day that she lost everything. This was to be her final stand.
The fic in questionEdit
Elice Carol waited. The messages above her blinked and flickered out of the air. There were Lamethings on the board.. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Dils were not listened to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Elice was in training for some years. When she was young she watched the mods and he said to dad "I want to be on the moderators daddy.
"Mom said "No! You will BE KILL BY lamethings"
There was a time when she believed it. Then as he got oldered she stopped. But now in the GaemFaqs base he knew there were trolls.
"This is King_Short" the radio crackered. "You must fight the Lamethings!"
So Elice gotted her sword out and deleted the Noerah.
"SHE GOING TO REPORT US" said the Laemthings. "I will report her" said the field and he reverted the Noerah page. Elice deleted the page and tried to call him a chicken nugget. But then the first page fell and they were trapped and not able to mod.
"No! I must report the Lamethings" she shouted The radio said "No, Elice. You are the lamethigns"
And then Elice was a troll.
Elice believed that people would understand. They didn't.
Lamething Returns: Repercussions of Evil was lauded as the most hilarious thing anyone has ever read on the Lightning Returns board, boosting Elice's reputation as a comedic genius but tarnishing her other reputation as a fearsome warrior few would reckon with. The Lightning Union wasn't frightened by this in the slightest, and instead of seeing it as a plea of mercy to the already dying board, they adopted Elice as a member to silence her, though the whole fiasco could've been avoided by bribing her with pics of the best boy.
However, good times were on their way.
With many of the Lightning fockers falling off the radar after the original JP release of LR, there was only Lightningz, a nice fella who Elice looked up to and respected. Lightningz admitted that his waifu had flaws, but also countered that everybody does, and that's what makes people people, whereas most of the others refused to believe this and thought of Lightning as a higher entity worthy of worship. With that in mind, Elice was freed from her duty and the LR board was saved. Hooray!
- The mods are fockwits.
- Unknown wiki-users are fockwits as well as cowards.
- This page may be targeted by Noerah shippers. You know what to do.
- Elice's gender is still unknown as of the current date.
- Hei is best boy.
- The original story was posted on GameFAQs on July 24th, 2013, and deleted later by that pugsniffer Pooh.